All Football Movie Team
Not long ago, DOTD came up with an all baseball movie team. With the start of training camp officially upon us, now is the perfect time to decide who would be in the starting line-up of an all football movie team. However, in the interest of time, we will narrow some positions down, like offensive line.
Head Coach: Tony D'Amato - Any Given Sunday
Quote: "You find out life's this game of inches, so is football ... On this team we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when add up all those inches, that's gonna make the fucking difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying!"
Quarterback: Paul Crewe - The Longest Yard (original)
Quote: "You know what my problem has been all my life? I've always had my shit together. Always. My problem's been I couldn't lift it."
Quarterback: Joe Kane - The Program
Quote: " Let's put the women and children to bed and go lookin' for dinner!"
Running Back: Gale Sayers - Brian's Song
Quote: "I love Brian Piccolo. And tonight, when you hit your knees, please ask God to love him."
Running Back: Julian Washington - Any Given Sunday
Quote: "What the fuck you mean, I'm dying inside? Motherfucker. Kiss my Armani ass! You know what I did for this team? I'll take ya fuckin' life!"
Wide Receiver: Phil Elliott - North Dallas Forty
Quote: "Hell coach, I love needles."
Wide Receiver: Charlie Tweeder - Varsity Blues
Quote: "Listen. You give 'em Percocet, two Vicoden and a couple of beers, and the panties drop. It's very nice."
Offensive Line: Billy Bob - Varsity Blues
Quote: "Though as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no faggots from Bingville."
Offensive Line: Louie Lastik - Remember the Titans
Quote: "Man I just gave your momma a piggy-back ride and she weighs twice as much as I do!"
Defensive Line: Switkowski - The Longest Yard (remake)
Quote: "I think I made-ed him shit himself."
Defensive Line: Rudy - Rudy Ruettiger
Quote: "Ever since I was a kid I wanted to go to school here, and ever since I was a kid everyone said it couldn't be done. My whole life people have been telling me what I could do and couldn't do. I've always listened to them, believed in what they said. I don't want to do that any more."
Linebacker: Alvin Mack - The Program
Quote: "Hey 23, don't think I don't recognize you, you poo-butt motherfucker! Hey pay attention when I'm talking to you! You're the guy who shot my mother aren't you? You were trying to steal her car, you cocksucker. You didn't think I was going to find you, but I got you now. I'm gonna bust your gut open and watch you die!"
Linebacker: Bobby Boucher - The Waterboy
Quote: "So that's what opening up a can of whoop-ass feels like."
Linebacker: Luther 'Shark' Lavay - Any Given Sunday
Quote: "In football, you have the offense and the defense. You can't have one without the other. Respect will be paid."
Defensive Back: Brian Chavez - Friday Night Lights
Quote: "We got to lighten up. We're 17."
Defensive Back: Lucas - Lucas
Quote: "You heard me, pencil-brain! I mean, who are we kidding here? Who is the piss-ant? The second-rate coach of a third rate team or me?"
Kicker: Lucy Draper - Necessary Roughness
Quote: "I'm an Armadillo just like the others."
Special Teams: Vince Papale - Invincible
Quote: "Excuse me, my name's spelled wrong."
Special Teams: Forrest Gump - Forrest Gump
Quote: "Now you wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I could run like the wind blows. From that day on, if I was ever going somewhere, I was running!"
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42 Comments:
What? No love for Charles Jefferson (Forest Whitaker) from Fast Times at Ridgemont High? That guy was a beast after his car got messed up.
Good call. But I don't remember his position or if it was ever specified. Somewhere on defense maybe?
I'm pretty sure he was a linebacker/running back!
I think you should add Darnell Jefferson from 'the program'
quote:
I can run the 40 in 4.3, I think I can keep up
What about Rod Tidwell? Before there was Chad Johnson and T.O. there was Rod Tidwell.
Latimer...hands down
"starting defense, place at the table...woooooooooohoooooooo!"
HOW BOUT ICEBOX FROM LITTLE GIANTS, SHE WAS KILLIN IT
How can you leave of Lattimer from the program? The man smashes windows, paints his face like death before games, and rips the helmet off a terrifed QB!
how about at TE the deaf guy from the Replacements
Brian Murphy is the TE from the Replacements...you gotta have him up there.
Add Manumana (Necessary Roughness) at center.
I prefer Nigel "The Leg" Gruff (The Replacements) as the kicker
Can't forget Gary Bertier-LB and Juilus Campbell-DE (Remember the Titans), 2 All-Americans on defense
And maybe have Ivory Christian-DE (Friday Night Lights) up there.
Too bad Boobie Miles' knee went out on him, or he HAS to be on this team.
Lets not forget about Nigel 'The Leg' Gruff from the Replacements. "I'm wiry".
No love for Gary Bertier from Remeber the Titans. He was an all-american type player before the crash
I strongly considered Lattimer, but his use of performance-enhancing drugs and near rape of the coaches daughter kept him off. Not to mention that disgusting urine replacement system he used.
I left Bertier off the team because he got paralyzed. And then he died.
Boobie Miles was nearly on this list, too. But that knee injury was just too severe.
WHAT!?!??! No Footsteps Falco or Willie Beamen. I know Footsteps was a replacement, but Beamen was ridiculous.
What about Debbie as a cheerleader. The one that made Dallas famous. She has to have a spot somewhere.
I'll take Bird from Wildcats over Joe Kane at quarterback.
I gotta agree with the anonymous dude way up there.
Rod Tidwell's personality alone was entertaining.
"Excuse me, but are you Hooty?"
How about the fat guy from Wildcats, the one that played "House" in Police Academy? He pocketed the money in his jock.
Head Coach has to be Denzel from Remember the Titans. and Sunshine should be hthe QB. He had an arm and played for the Gamecocks right?
What about QB John "Johnny" Utah from Point Break? Of course he has a rag arm, and may throw the game, but he was great at OSU...
You forgot Anthony Michael Hall from Johnny Be Good. The boy could play QB, had speed and could punt with crazy hang time.
LB - Eric 'Samurai' Hansen from Nec Rougness. "You Must Show Us Some Respect!"
DL - Andre Krimm from NR "Andre does not eat raw meat, cause Andre is a vegitarian."
WR - Deacon Moss(Irvin) from Longest Yard
RB - Megget from LY
and Cheeseburger Eddie from LY i don't know what position he played but that guy is a beast!
Denzel was definitely the other candidate for head coach. Or maybe Goldie Hawn from Wildcats.
And Willie Beamen was no match for Paul Crewe or a Heisman candidate!
I seriously thought about Tidwell, but my aversion to anything to do with Tom Cruise kept him off.
Stefen Djordjevic from All the Right Moves at CB
Gotta have a few guys from the Ampipe Bulldogs. Give Brian Reilly another shot. I heard the baby wasn't even his. It was Rifleman's.
dude you can't forget jason london in dazed and confuzed..
"let's go smoke a joint on the 50 fuckin yard line man."
and how could you leave off "Finch" from Wildcats at DT?
Bud from "Air Bud Golden Receiver" got shafted. His yrds after catch is incredible, you cant tackle him.
You can't have a team without Randall "Pink" Floyd at quarterback with Coach Conrad making sure the team had their priorities straight even if the number one priority was Aerosmith tickets.
It was that loser backup QB who was donging the coach's daughter in The Program, not Lattimer. He tried to rape some booster's daughter.
How 'bout Brian Kelly (Chris Penn) from 'All the Right Moves' - On his wedding day, when asked about his honeymoon, where they were going and what were they going to do, his reply: "Pittsburgh - Gonna see the Flyers and the Penguins"
oh i gotta agree with two of the previous posts and put in a vote for Tidwell
Hello anyone out there remember tony danza as a kicker for the eagles in a disney movie i think. something about being a garbage man. i think he need to bring the heart to this team.
WOAH!!! No Willie Beamen????
cuz he's Steamin he gets the ladies Creamin!!! cmon howd u leave him out?
What about Kathy Ireland as the kicker from "Necessary Roughness"? Remember, we're talking Kathy Ireland circa 1991; she's got to make this team!
How about Tammy Mayda (Helen Hunt) from Quarterback Princess at QB? She had a rifle arm!
How can you put Paul Crewe above Willie Beamen. Thats ridiculous
You guys really should have added the ICEBOX as a fullback, she is more of a beast then Nick Mangold's sister.
What about 'Bud Light' Kiminski from The Program on the Offensive Line. Great quote: "We're running doggies into the endzone and the trail comes right over your ass" Followed by "excuse me, my doggies just reached the endzone, I have to go celebrate" followed by "Nice throw Joe, wish I'd seen it".
Without Bud Light, Joe Kane is a dead man.
Kathy Ireland is, indeed, the kicker on this team.
What about Coach Harris from Revenge of the Nerds at least make him asst head coach.
"You know, when you were a baby in your crib, your father looked down at you, he had but one hope - some day my son will grow to be a man. Well look at you now. You just got your asses whipped by a bunch of goddamn nerds!
Nerds! Well, if I was you, I'd do something about it. I would get up and redeem myself in the eyes of my father, my maker, and my coach!"
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