Saturday, June 30, 2007

Linkage


The best from around the internets:

- Really good tips on how to increase traffic at your blog. (You Been Blinded)

- The Texas school system is ripe with sizzling teachers who happen to be Houston Texans cheerleaders. (Our Book of Scrap)

- That's assault, brother! Tigers pitcher indicted on felony charges for clubhouse fracas. (Lion in Oil)

- Kige Ramsey makes more hilarious YouTube videos, and he wants no part of your silly IPhone! (Sons of Sam Malone)

- Tennis player Tatiana Golovin (pictured) will wear whatever damn color underwear she wants. (The Sporting Orange)

- I think it's safe to assume that Julio Lugo is not too popular in Boston, considering this guy would rather see Steven Hawking at the plate for the Red Sox. (Surviving Grady)

ESPN Employees Read Your Blog and They Don't Like It


ESPN employees hate you. And me. They also think we are fat, dress poorly, have bad manners and lead worthless lives. Or so I was told.

Yesterday (June 30), I wrote what I thought was a rather sarcastic brilliant review of the World Wide Leader's foray into the realm of mini-series and made-for-TV movies.

Stemming from the highly unanticipated upcoming 8 part mini-series The Bronx Is Burning, I delved into previous ESPN efforts such as A Season On The Brink and showered them with ridicule praise.

Then it happened. A bombshell of seething fury and asperity was unleashed in the comments section. Innocence was lost and shame was felt. DOTD had been invaded by ESPN.



Don't they say those "those, who can't do, teach"? I guess these days it's "those who can't do, blog".

I'm going to take a minute to defend the WWL. Season on the Brink was 5 years ago. Since then, they have made Playmakers, picked up the Contender, and made a very, very good movie called Four Minutes. I have very much enjoyed all of those productions. Not all of thier stuff is perfect, but even HBO has flops.

I guess it's much easier to sit around the house in your undies, spilling ice cream on yourself, and throwing up boring criticisms at an easy target, as opposed to going out and, say, doing something worthlwhile yourself?

But judging by your writing talent (or lack thereof), maybe it's best you stick to the whole blog thing.


Okay, I have absolutely zero evidence that this is an ESPN employee, but who else would be so upset as to go off on a diatribe of misspellings and indignation?

Only time will tell if I will ever recover from this tired creative rant against me. This commenter has me pegged, right down to my soul. A lazy, fat, unintelligent, messy eater who doesn't do anything worthwhile. I've been exposed for what I truly am, and the scars from this may never heal.

So, my fellow bloggers, be warned. Tread the waters of cyber space with circumspection. As they creep slowly towards world domination, ESPN is watching you.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Make Your Reservations for the Emmy's Right Now, ESPN

One of the greatest cinematic achievements in modern times was A Season On The Brink, the 2002 ESPN movie about Bobby Knight. The film had Brian Dennehy brilliantly playing the former Indiana coach. In one of the great injustices of award show history, Dennehy was absolutely robbed of both a Golden Globe and Emmy in the "Best Actor in a Made For Television Movie" category. Inexplicably, that honor went to William H. Macy's interpretation of a retarded salesman in the utterly forgettable Door to Door.

To make up for this snub, ESPN has come roaring back. Starting on Monday, July 9, immediately after the Home Run Derby, the Worldwide Leader will premiere an 8 part mini-series called The Bronx Is Burning. This is how ESPN describes it on the official website for the film: "The Bronx is Burning is the story of the 1977 Yankees quest to win their first world championship in 15 years despite being racked with turbulence, turmoil and dissension."

The commercials for this have been absolutely fascinating. In them, we see George Steinbrenner yelling at Billy Martin, players fighting in the dugout, and Reggie Jackson proclaiming, "He can't handle my talent or intellect!" It is grand entertainment, and those are just the advertisements.

John Turturro, of The Big Lebowski, Oh Brother, Where Art Thou and other films, will play Billy Martin in a role he was born for. Unfortunately, his ears were not, so the ESPN make-up artists spared no expense and donned him with the most outstanding set of big, floppy ears you will ever see. Genius, ESPN. Pure genius.
Playing George Steinbrenner is respected actor Oliver Platt, who is known for his roles in A Time to Kill and Ready to Rumble, among others. Thankfully, Platt has experience working in the field of baseball, as seen in his appearance on Miami Vice in the episode entitled, Baseballs of Death.

One other casting note is the improbable but brilliant choice of Alan Ruck, aka Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, as Steve Jacobson, a reporter who covered the team for New York Newsday.

The Bronx Is Burning has a chance to become a classic in the truest sense of the word. ESPN has shown their acumen for making quality films time and time again. By broadening their horizons to produce an 8 part mini-series, the time is ripe for the network to expand their horizons and become a dominant force in the world of made-for-TV movies and mini-series.

There is no doubt the people who create those Hallmark Hall of Fame productions are shaking in their boots this very instant, stricken with fear over ESPN's impending glory in the made-for-TV genre.

Greatest Performances in All-Star Game History

With MLB's annual All-Star Game set to go on July 10 in San Francisco, it is a good time to look back and remember the greatest performances in All-Star Game history (In chronological order).

- Carl Hubbell, 1934

At the Polo Grounds, the N.Y. Giants pitcher threw 3 innings while allowing only 2 hits and no runs. He is best remembered in this game for striking out Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig and Jimmie Foxx in succession.

- Lou Gehrig, 1937

In his final full season as a player, Gehrig went 2 for 4 with a double, a homerun and 4 RBI to help the American League to an 8-3 win.

- Arky Vaughan, 1941

The Pirates shortstop went 3 for 4 and hit 2 homeruns to go with 4 RBI and 2 runs scored at the 1941 game. His production was not enough however, as the N.L. lost to the A.L., 7 to 5.

- Ted Williams, 1946

Playing at his home park in Boston, Williams had what is arguably the greatest performance in All-Star Game History. He went 4 for 4 with 2 homeruns, 5 RBI and 4 runs scored. He set or tied records that still stand for most hits, homeruns, RBI and total bases

- Larry Jansen, 1950

Jansen's fabulous pitching performance helped the N.L. to a 4-3 win. A hurler for the New York Giants, he went 5 innings, allowing only 1 hit while striking out 6 in a line-up that included the likes of Ted Williams, Yogi Berra and George Kell.

- Al Rosen, 1954

At his home park, Municipal Stadium in Cleveland, Rosen tied a record for most HR's in a game, with 2, as he powered the A.L. to an 11-9 victory. Along with the homeruns, his day included 3 hits, 5 RBI and 2 runs scored.

- Don Drysdale, 1959

The Dodgers young righthander led the N.L. to victory as he battled through a line-up featureing Al Kaline, Nellie Fox, Harmon Kilebrew and others by throwing 3 innings, allowing 0 hits while striking out 4.

- Willie McCovey, 1969

McCovey was the MVP of the '69 Mid-Summer Classic, going 2 for 4 with 2 HR's and 3 RBI, leading the N.L. to victory in the game played at Robert F. Kennedy Stadium in Washington, D.C.

- Carl Yastrzemski, 1970

Tying a record for most hits, Yaz batted 6 times, and collected 4 knocks in a losing effort. The Rex Sox player also had 1 RBI and scored a run, but the N.L. came out on top, 5-4.

- Gary Carter, 1981

Playing in Cleveland, the Montreal Expo hit 2 bombs over the wall, and had 2 RBI to lead the N.L. to a 5-4 victory over the A.L.

- Fred Lynn, 1983

Lynn only collected one hit in the game, but it was a big one. The Angel smashed the only grand slam ever to be hit in an All-Star Game, a record that still stands. His shot led the way as the A.L. slaughtered the N.L., 13-3

- Fernando Valenzuela, 1986

At the Astrodome, the Dodgers lefty wowed observers by throwing 3 innings, allowing just a single hit, and striking 5 batters - Don Mattingly, Cal Ripken, Jr., Jesse Barfield, Lou Whitaker and Teddy Higuera - consecutively.

- Bo Jackson, 1989

Jackson brought an inspiring display of raw power and blazing speed to the Anaheim Stadium in '89. He led off the game with a monster homerun and followed that up with a single and a stolen base to be named the MVP. The A.L. won as Jackson went 2 for 4 with 1 run, 1 stolen base and 2 RBI.

- Pedro Martinez, 1999

In one of the most electrifying performances in All-Star Game history, the Red Sox hurler went 2 innings without allowing a baserunner. Of the 6 batters he faced, he struck out 5 of them. Pedro didn't allow anybody to even make contact until the fifth batter of the game, as he whiffed Barry Larkin, Larry Walker, Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire to start the game. Martinez was the MVP as the A.L. prevailed, 4-1.


(All-Star Game boxscores: Baseball Almanac)

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Football Sabermetrics Are A Lie!


For a few weeks, ESPN.com has been running a series of articles about the most overrated and underrated players in the NFL at their respective positions. Not terribly original, but it's a quiet time in the NFL right now, so it's understandable.

The essential problem with these articles are their use of sabermetrics in defining who the players are. K.C. Joyner, who calls himself "The Football Scientist," is the author of these pieces and one of the first people to try and use sabermetrics in football. The thing is, it does not work in that sport.

Using metrics in baseball is completely natural. One of the most engaging aspects of baseball is the myriad of numbers and different combinations of such that creates tantalizing, unique analysis of each player. The reason this works is because of the one-on-one nature of the sport. It is always pitcher vs. batter, with fielders as the support system. This is why pitchers get wins and losses next to their names.

Football is a completely different beast. It is the quintessential team game, twenty-two players on the field, eleven on each side, and every moving part must be in sync with their assignments to achieve success. This means that using sabermetrics in football must correlate with watching game film, and Joyner admitted as much on his website by saying, "The Football Scientist bridges the gaps ... by combining stat research with game film analysis."

Unfortunately, the use of sabermetrics was designed with the idea that players and teams could be evaluated objectively, strictly using numbers to judge performance, which is virtually impossible in football. For example, here are some of the categories Joyner uses:

- Weighted bad decision percentage
- Bad decisions
- Total Yards Per Catchable Attempt
- Catchable pass
- Near interception
- Not at fault interceptions

And while not all of his metrics use personal judgements as factors in the numbers, you can see that many do.

The question remains, who gets to make the assessment on what is or is not a bad decision or a catchable pass? It's strictly in the eye of the beholder, which is brazenly anit-sabermetric. It defeats the purpose of using metrics. Really, this is just one person's opinion being passed off as statistical fact. It is misleading to the general public, who does not understand these numbers are not based on factual data, they are based on one person's opinions.

Developing new statistical analysis in football is something that should certainly be explored to try and broaden the knowledge of the game for coaches, player and fans. But it has to be done right, and done objectively.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Zodiac Signs are All-Powerful...Or Completely Stupid


A lot of nutjobs people believe wholeheartedly that our birthdays, and corresponding astrological signs represent what type of personality we have. So we decided to do some research and figure out if there is any truth to the rumors as far as athletes are concerned. Decide for yourself.

- Aries (March 21 to April 20) / Personality Traits: The Aries male is a natural rebel. He loves to defy authority and he thinks he was born smarter than anyone else ... Thanks to his rash way of pushing his superiority, he's liable to fall flat on his face more than once.

- Danny Almonte
- Jason Kidd
- Pete Rose

We would say that these three fit the bill, at least if Kidd's wife is telling the truth about him. But cheating in the Little League World Series and gambling your life away qualifies as falling flat on your face.

- Taurus (April 20 to May 20) / Personality Traits: Plans for tomorrow carefully ... Quiet, practical soul, as sensible and down-to-earth as an old pair of shoes ... Slow to move to action, deliberate and careful.

- Andre Agassi
- David Beckham
- John Daly
- Tony Hawk
- The Rock
- Dennis Rodman

Okay, we've hit a snag. A former mullet wearing tennis player, a soccer celebrity, a drunk/fat golfer, a skateboarding legend, a wrestler/actor and sideshow freakshow ex-basketball player are not exactly the definition of quiet and practical.

- Gemini (May 21 to June 20) / Personality Traits: Restless, unpredictable spirit ... Impatient, critical and petulant ... In one way or another, he will change.

- Freddy Adu
- Carmelo Anthony
- Lou Gehrig
- Allen Iverson
- Joe Namath
- Phil Mickelson
- Joe Montana
- Rafael Nadal

Some hits, some misses. No big transformations have been seen by these athletes, but some unpredictability.

- Cancer (June 21 to July 22) / Personality Traits: Courtly, courteous, and considerate ... True to himself ... Fond of security ... Finances have fascinated him since childhood.

- Rick Ankiel
- Derek Jeter
- O.J. Simpson
- Mike Tyson
- Mike Vick
- Zinedine Zidane

Whoops. Other than Jeter, and to an extent Ankiel, this is the hall of crazy club. A murderer, a rapist, an animal torturer and a guy who lost control during the biggest game of his life. Nobody will ever confuse these guys with being courteous.

- Leo (July 23 to August 22) / Personality Traits: He has to be worshipped or die ... Jealous ... Impulsive temper ... Far more steadfast and tenacious than he seems ... Leo appreciates beauty, so if you're the type to get jealous over an appreciative glance at another female, you'd better get tolerant fast.

- Barry Bonds
- Tom Brady
- Roger Federer
- Nomar Garciaparra
- Hulk Hogan
- Karl Malone
- Alex Rodriguez
- Pete Sampras

Has to be worshipped and loves the ladies. We think we have a few candidates for that here. Funny, we always thought Bonds' temper was from the roids. Well, this clears up that rumor, doesn't it?

- Virgo (August 23 to September 22) / Personality Traits: Lives almost entirely on a practical, material level ... invariably kindly and thoughtful ... Utterly loyal.

- Lance Armstrong
- Kobe Bryant
- Roger Maris
- Mike Piazza
- Cal Ripken
- Andy Roddick
- Ted Williams
- Yao Ming

Basically, Virgos are supposed to be saints, we guess. And this is a list of seemingly decent people. Though we don't think anybody would use the term "loyal" to describe Kobe Bryant right now.

- Libra (September 23 to October 22) / Personality Traits: Unmatched reasoning powers ... Tendency toward fickleness ... Brilliant logic and astute rationalization ... Trustworthy ... Hates confusion, and he really needs harmony to remain stable.

- Dale Earnhardt, Jr.
- Brett Favre
- Mark McGwire
- Mickey Mantle
- Jerry Rice
- Ichiro Suzuki
- Steve Young

Basically smart and trustworthy. That sums up this group fairly nicely, other than McGwire, who didn't exactly display any "unmatched reasoning powers" when he told Congress he "wasn't here to talk about the past."

- Scorpio (October 23 to November 22) / Personality Traits: Passionate ... Calm and steady ... Deceptively controlled manner ... In a word, this man is invincible.

- Troy Aikman
- Pele
- Diego Maradona
- David Duval

Not sure "invincible" is the word we'd use to describe Aikman and Duval, unless invicible means getting 72 concussions or disappearing from earth after being one of the best golfers in the world.

- Sagittarius (November 23 to December 21) / Personality Traits: Charge around and tumble through life ... Idealistic enthusiasm ... An optimist supreme.

- Joe Dimaggio
- Michael Owen

Not much to choose from in this category. Owen is a great soccer player and Dimaggio is one of the all-time greats in baseball. We guess you could say that he tumbled through a marriage with Marilyn Monroe.

- Capricorn (December 22 to January 19) / Personality Traits: Has a self-made brick wall around him ... Strong and tough ... Pleasant, but he's fiercely ambitious.

- Muhammad Ali
- George Foreman
- LeBron James
- Tiger Woods
- Dwayne Wade
- Michael Schumacher

Considering we have some of the all-time greats at their sports on this list, we think they can reliably be called ambitious and tough. We think the lesson we learn with this is if you want to have a child who is a great athlete, make sure to have a lot of sex in April and May.

- Aquarius (January 20 to February 18) / Personality Traits: Everyone is his friend ... Doesn't want to reveal his true feelings ... Teamwork comes naturally to him ... Understands the fair play rules of sports as if he had invented them.

- Michael Jordan
- Wayne Gretzky
- Babe Ruth
- Mike Krzyzewski
- Hank Aaron
- Oscar De La Hoya
- Jackie Robinson

Okay, change that from having a lot of sex in April and May to April through June, which should make you happy. Some hits and misses. Ruth was everyone's friend, and they all seemed to understand fair play and the rules of sports. Maybe that's because you have arguably the greatest baseball, basketball and hockey players in the history of sports here.

- Pisces (February 19 to March 20) / Personality Traits: His clever mind can turn him toward sensible goals which could bring him fame and recognition, even wealth and immortality ... Short on cold accusations and long on warm tolerance ... Possesses a rare sympathy of spirit ... Tough for him to comprehend that what he says could perhaps be interpreted in the wrong light.

- Charles Barkley
- Julius Erving
- Shaquille O'Neal
- Landon Donovan

Well, they are certainly all famous wealthy, and three are basketball immortality, which is nice. We just don't think Barkley displays tolerance or sympathy of spirit. The one about opening their mouth too much seems right on, however. We all know Barkley will never shut up (entertaining as he is), and Shaq is beloved by the media for his witticisms - or whatever you want to call them.

So there you have it. We think we have solved the mystery of astrology with this scientific exercise - it's total crap.

(Birthdays found at Who2.com)

That Was an Interesting 24 Hours


Brendan Ryan never has been much of a homerun hitter. In over 1,000 career at-bats in the minor leagues, Ryan hit all of 6 round trippers, which is roughly one for every 180 at-bats.

So when the St. Louis Cardinals rookie shortstop hit what proved to be the game-winning homerun off Mets reliever Scott Schoeneweis, he was understandably giddy. In separate interviews, he called it both "the biggest swing" and "the best moment" of his life.

What undoubtedly made it even sweeter was the odd predicament he found himself in on Monday, as he tried to make his way to Shea Stadium from the team hotel:


He hopped into a taxi from the team's Manhattan hotel, told the driver to take him to Shea, to the New York Mets, "to the blue and orange." The cab took him to Yankee Stadium. Late to the ballpark, he found his clothes frozen by his teammates. As they thawed, the clothes dripped water onto his glove.

He tried to blow dry his gear and blew a fuse in the visitors' clubhouse, knocking power out in, of all places, manager Tony La Russa's office.


Needless to say, Mr. Ryan redeemed himself.

(On a side note, what kind of baseball stadium doesn't have enough electricity to power a lightbulb and a hair dryer at the same time?)

Thank You

Want to send a big thank you out to Doug at Our Book of Scrap for the new banner. It's greatly appreciated!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Anyone Know Where The High School Kids Hang Out?


Putting high school athletics on television used to be a unique experience, saved for local or regional cable stations, and most of those were postseason games. Outside of the McDonald's All-American Game, there were no high school sports on television.

Then LeBron James leaped into the national consciousness, and ESPN began showing his high school basketball games. A trend started to develop when ESPN and Maxpreps announced a deal last July that allowed the two companies to "improve coverage of high school football through an exchange of content and promotional support."

Now comes word that ESPN will put together the first ESPNU High School All-American Game in football.

Oh, but that's not not all. ESPN has other ways to exploit showcase these young athletes:


Besides the game itself on ABC, ESPNU will televise the week's practices and ESPN2 will air a special skills competition on Jan. 4.

Well, at least they're showing athletic events and we can count on the Worldwide Leader not to exploit broadcast high school kids in anything as lame as a reality show.

You know, like one where they hire a football legend such as Dick Butkus to "coach" a high school football team. Because if that were to happen, it would be a disaster if Butkus were to quit the team in the middle of the season because his contract had run out.

They're also certainly smart enough not to do a "Real World" type of show that puts high school football players together in a house for a few weeks to see who can become "The King of the House."

No, ESPN is far too savvy to do something like that. They do not exploit kids. After all, they make wishes come true, and solely for the purpose of helping the kids. They definitely don't do it to promote SportsCenter or win awards.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Shoulder-High We Bring You Home

We often look at athletes as beyond human, doing things that normal people cannot do. Then we are suddenly reminded that they, too, are mortal, and are susceptible to the same rules of life as we all are. With the news of former Giants closer Rod Beck passing away at age 38, now seems like an appropriate time to remember some other athletes that left us too soon.

- Pistol Pete Maravich

Maravich died at the age of 40 of a heart attack attributed to having been born with only one coronary artery instead of two. Maravich was a legendary scorer, holding the all-time NCAA record to this day, averaging 44.2 points per game. His life after basketball was muddled, as he struggled to find an identity. Maravich was elected to the Basketball Hall of Fame in May of 1987. He would die seven months later, on January 5, 1988.

- Flo Hyman

Considered by some to be the best female volleyball player ever, Hyman died on the sidelines during a game in Japan on January 24, 1986 of an aortic dissection as a result of Marfan Syndrome. She was 31 years old.

- Lyman Bostock

A rising young baseball player for the Twins and Angels, Bostock finished second in batting in 1977 to Rod Carew. He went on to the Angels in free agency, and, disappointed in his early play, tried to give back his April salary to team owner Gene Autry, who refused it. Bostock instead gave it to charity. On September 23, 1978, after playing the Angels final game in Chicago, Bostock was out eating with a group of friends. After finishing, they were in the car going home when another vehicle pulled up alongside. A man got out, took one shot with a .410 caliber shotgun and killed Bostock. The shot was intended for the killer's wife, but it missed her and hit Bostock, who did not know the woman before that evening. He was 27 years old.

- Darryl Kile

Kile died at age 33 of a heart attack on June 22, 2002. He was pitching for the St. Louis Cardinals at the time, and when he was late for their game in Chicago, authorities were alerted, and he was found dead in his hotel room. Kile had a fine career, pitching for the Houston Astros, Colorado Rockies and St. Louis Cardinals. He made three All-Star appearances and threw a no-hitter in 1993 against the Mets.

- Reggie White

Known as the "Minister of Defense", Reggie White died December 26, 2004 at age 43 of Cardiac Arrhythmia. White is arguable the greatest defender ever to play in the NFL, having made the Pro Football Hall of Fame, the All-Time NFL Team and the All-Decade Team not once, but twice, for the 1980's and 1990's.

- Hank Gathers

Gathers died on the court on March 4, 1990 at age 23 from Cardiomyopathy, which is a heart muscle disorder. Gathers had one of the greatest seasons in NCAA basketball history in 1988-1989, leading the nation in scoring and rebounding, as he averaged 32.7 points and 13.7 rebounds per game.

- Roberto Clemente

One of the finest right fielders in history, Clemente died at age 38 on December 31, 1972 in a plane crash. He was on his way to deliver supplies to the people of Nicaragua, which had just had a devastating earthquake. Clemente played his entire career for the Pittsburgh Pirates and was elected to the Hall of Fame the year after his crash, as the mandatory five-year waiting period was waived for him. He got 92% of the vote.

There are many others who passed on too soon, including the likes of Dale Earnhardt, Reggie Lewis and Thurman Munson. Each were great athletes and fierce competitors who had one unfortunate thing in common: they perished unexpectedly, and far too young.

Friday, June 22, 2007

The Future On Display


The rosters for the 2007 Futures Game, played during All-Star weekend, have been announced and fans of every Major League team will have a chance to see the best their organization has to offer.

The youngest player chosen is World team member and pitcher Deolis Guerra, a Mets farmhand who just turned 18 in April. The oldest is Freddy Sandoval, a third baseman in the Angels farm system who turns 25 August. He is also a member of the World team.

The U.S. team is stacked with players from recent drafts, and fans should be familiar with many of them.

2005 looks like it will become a fruitful draft, as all five of the U.S. team's outfielders were first round picks that year. The outfield is made up of prospects Colby Rasmus (Cardinals), Jay Bruce (Reds), Jacob Ellsbury (Red Sox), Cameron Maybin (Tigers), and 2005 first overall pick Justin Upton (Diamondbacks).

Other notable U.S. players are third baseman Evan Longoria (Devil Rays) and pitchers Clayton Kershaw (Dodgers), Matt Garza (Twins), Clay Buchholz (Red Sox), and last year's first overall pick Luke Hochevar (Royals).

Though each player chosen has put up good numbers, some are having remarkable years. On the U.S. team, pitcher Buchholz has a 1.82 ERA to go with a .188 opponents batting average and 100 K's against only 18 walks, while Kershaw has a 1.89 ERA and is holding opponents to a .178 batting average.

The World team has pitchers putting up impressive statistics also, as White Sox farmhand Faustino De Los Santos has a 2.54 ERA, 74 K's in 63.2 innings while only allowing 35 hits in that span. Henry Sosa of the Giants has eye-popping numbers, starting the season with a 0.73 ERA (5 earned runs in 62 innings), .144 opponents batting average and 61 K's.

Hitters have put up some fantastic numbers also. Second baseman Chris Coghlan, a Marlins prospect, is hitting .327 with a .426 OBP. Meanwhile, Longoria has 16 homeruns, Upton is hitting a combined .326 with 13 homeruns and 16 stolen bases, and Rasmus has 11 homeruns to go with 12 stolen bases.

On the World side, Texas prospect and second baseman German Duran is hitting .327 with 14 homeruns and a .949 OPS, while a prospect from Seattle, outfielder Wladimir Balentien, has a .316 average with 14 homeruns. To go along with those two, Dodgers farmhand and outfielder Chin-Lung Hu is hitting .326 with 25 doubles.

The Futures game is always something to look forward to, whether your team is in first or last place. It allows us to take a glimpse into the future, and gives us hope that maybe, just maybe, one of these players will lead our team to the promised land one day.

Mike Maroth to Save the Cardinals


So, Ken Rosenthal says the Cardinals acquired Mike Maroth. That's good. How exciting.

He is holding opponets to a .947 OPS this year and has more walks than strikeouts. Not to mention his career .292 opponents batting average against. So he'll fit right in. Just put his locker right next to Kip Wells'.

It's pretty disturbing when you're counting on a guy with a 5.06 ERA to improve your pitching staff. Excuse me while I go take a cold shower to calm myself down from the horror joy I am feeling right now.

Gotta Be The Shoes...Or Not

Michael Jordan will always be remembered as one of the greatest basketball players ever. Even his unfortunate stint in Washington won't change that. But his real legacy might be his shoes. Air Jordans were the sneaker every kid wanted to own, no matter if you grew up in the city or the suburbs.

Those sneakers were special, but not all versions of athlete endorsed shoes have turned out so great. Some were downright ugly. Beauty is most definitely in the eye of the beholder, but we are going to attempt to bring you the worst of athlete endorsed footwear.

- David Robinson's Nike Air Command Force

A hideous shoe. The "FORCE" on the tongue stood out too much, and the small amount of yellow-green coloring around the heel looked like they were trying too hard to be edgy. Not to mention the out-of-place electric blue "Nike Air" stitching on the back of the shoe. The shoe just didn't work. It seemed like they were going in too many directions and couldn't agree on one.


- Andre Agassi's Nike Air Tech Challenge

This was back when Andre was hip and cool, with his mullet-esque hairstyle. It was a failed attempt by Nike to bring basketball sneakers into tennis, and try to market the "edgy" Agassi. Instead they produced a purple (it also came in bright yellow) jumbled mess that was a men's shoe, but looked like a woman's shoe.


- Scottie Pippen's Nike Air More Uptempo

AAHHHH! It's like the shoes are yelling at you. These were truly horrid, and we do not remember them being that popular. There was even a 1992 Olympic Dream Team version that might be a bit scarier. What else can you really say about these? Everything was ugly: the lettering, the serrated tongue, it was all bad.


- Larry Johnson's Converse Aero Jam

This shoe isn't too awful, except for the novelty items that belonged with the shoe. First was the detachable tounge device. You just hooked it on and off, and we're unsure what the purpose of it was, other than becoming unhinged and making people trip over it. Secondly, since Nike was cleaning up with their "Air" system, showing the pockets of air that supposedly gave the shoe better cushioning, Converse came up with it's own version to try and counteract that. REACT Juice. It's the greenish-yellow substance that they put in the heel of the shoe, that was supposed to make you run faster and jump higher. It didn't.


- Shaquille O'Neal's Reebok Original Shaq Attaq 1

A lesser of two evils, this shoe can't be called truly ugly, but it can't be called much of anything. It's just black. With some blue. That's it. How about putting a stripe of gray or white in there? Maybe two different color blues? It had the pump, which was cool then, but Reebok always seemed to lag behind Nike in creativity. Sure, Nike took some mighty swings and misses (see above), but they had far more outstanding shoes than putrid shoes. This is really an indictment of Reebok failing to produce much in the way of basketball shoes after the pump. Even today it seems like they are missing the boat on basketball shoes, or maybe turning it over to Adidas, as they are now the same company. They have Allen Iverson as a spokesman, but beyond him, they stuck with hip-hop stars like Jay-Z, G-Unit, Nelly, DMX and Pharrell.


- Kobe Bryant's Adidas KB8 II

This shoe just doesn't have much symmetry to it, and the purple insert in the middle of the shoe looks out of place. To us, this looks much more like a hiking boot than a basketball sneaker, which is not a good characteristic. Kobe never made a good looking shoe with Adidas, but since he's with Nike now, that may change.


(By the way, there's a bunch of retro sneaker sites out there, so if you're a sneaker nut, check out Pick Your Shoes, The Shoe Game or Krazy Kickz)

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Heads Up!

If things like this happened more often, soccer would be more popular.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Get Your Air Here! Cheap Air!

Soccer fans around the world are known for being passionate, loyal and often insane about their teams. So it should come as no great surprise that a business in China tried to capitalize on the sport's immense popularity. By selling air. The company, Beijing Lunar Village Aeronautics Science and Technology Co., was going to sell bags of "World Cup Air", until the Beijing Administration for Industry and Commerce refused its application to sell "special air from a special place":


The Chaoyang District People's Court ruled against the company's proposal to sell green plastic bags full of air from stadiums that hosted matches in the 2006 World Cup in Germany.

Li Jie, the company's chief executive officer, had planned to sell the bags to soccer fans for 50 yuan ($6.60) each.


It won't be long before owners of American sports franchises pick up on this trend and sell assorted "souvenirs".

In fact, we have no doubt that St. Louis Cardinals owner Bill DeWitt is making a phone call this morning to Li Jie, the company's CEO, to see if he can borrow this idea. Honestly, we're surprised he didn't think of this already.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Comparing Soccer Players to Fruits, Blasting the MLS - and Other Stuff

Apparently, the MLS isn't so popular in Europe. For that matter, it doesn't seem America is, either. Some soccer, er, football writer from the UK and Irish version of Yahoo! Sports named Sean Fay is so heartbroken that soccer is over for the summer, he comes up with a "list of things for a football fan to do this summer."

Among them is this:


3. Start following "soccer"

Apparently a sport called "soccer" is set to explode in America this summer, with some English guy having been brought over to give one the "franchises" a boost. We are not sure exactly what this sport involves but we asked the MLS to explain it to us and they told us: "it is like the game you call football, only more EXTREME BABY!" Cool - it sounds totally awesome man!


We think that's an insult. In fact, we're pretty damned sure of it. Problem is, we have no idea what it's supposed to mean. None. We're no soccer/football fan, but we do know that the MLS uses the same rules as FIFA. So how it's more EXTREME BABY! is beyond us. However, to his credit, he did put the word franchises in quotation marks. That really stings.

This writing bad-boy wasn't done with the blasts. No sir, not by a long shot. All you cricket fans out there? Well, he had something for your asses too:


10. Start following cricket.

Oh wait, I forget the aim was to REDUCE your boredom level.


Oh, SNAP! Cricket just got bitch-slapped by a soccer/football writer!

Proving that there is more than one soccer/football writer with a keen sense of wit on that site, a chap named Alex Chick compared Chelsea soccer players to fruits. We're going to resist temptation and just give you a few examples of fruity soccer/football players from the article:



Frank Lampard - Avocado - Versatile and unfathomably popular, despite surprisingly high fat content.

Joe Cole - Banana - Boasts an exotic touch, but has soft flesh and bruises easily.

Arjen Robben - Strawberry - Fair-weather fruit.


Those Euros sure do know a good put down. No wonder Europe is so well-known for their comedy films like, um, does Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo count?


(Photo from SoccerSucks.net)

Return of the Rick - A Look Back at Pundits Predictions


For all he's been through in his life, from growing up with a father who went in and out of prison, to suddenly and famously losing control of his pitches in the playoffs against the Mets, it was easy to write off Rick Ankiel. But as injuries mount for the St. Louis Cardinals, a potentially fascinating story is developing. Ankiel is becoming a realistic hitting prospect that fans are clamoring to see. He recently hit three homeruns in a game, and as of June 19, he is hitting .286 with 19 homeruns and 52 RBI's, to go along with an impressive .932 OPS in AAA. For reference, Barry Bonds is leading the NL with a 1.082 OPS.

The problem lies in the fact he is out of options, so he would have to clear waivers to return to the minor leagues after some of the Cardinals injuries mend. And with the way he is hitting, somebody would claim him. Still, manager Tony LaRussa is intrigued:


Tony La Russa said it would be "fun" to promote outfielder Rick Ankiel and give him a two-week whirl in the majors while center fielder Jim Edmonds is on the disabled list. But fun isn't always practical ... If Ankiel were on the roster with options available, he'd be up, La Russa said.

There is certainly precedent for this type of transition. Babe Ruth, Stan Musial and George Sisler were former pitchers turned hitters, and they turned out okay. We are not saying Ankiel will be anything even close to those guys, but he may just be better than some of you thought. I recently came across a 2005 article from The Hardball Times by Brian Gunn that informed us all in no uncertain terms that Ankiel will NEVER be any type of prospect, and the Cardinals are wasting everybody's time:

He is not a real hitter by any conceivable stretch of the imagination. It’s unfortunate, then, that Ankiel is flirting with the outfield, because it won’t allow him or the Cardinals to truly turn the page. He’ll be just another spring training curiosity, grist for sportswriters on a slow day in March – like Garth Brooks in a Padres uniform, only more depressing ... For all intents and purposes it’s best to consider Rick Ankiel retired from baseball ... Ankiel now joins a notorious list of “might’ve beens” from baseball history – Tony Conigliaro, Herb Score, Pete Reiser, Mark Fidrych, Steve Busby, and, of course, countless people you’ve never heard of. But we shouldn’t exactly feel sorry for the guy ... you know, he did get to play in the major leagues (which is more than you can say for flameouts like Brien Taylor or Josh Hamilton).


I wonder if Mr. Gunn still compares Ankiel to Garth Brooks? In all fairness, nobody was all that convinced this was going to work other than maybe G.M. Walt Jocketty and LaRussa, and surely they had their doubts. But now, it is just a matter of time before Ankiel comes to the bigs and sticks. With this Cardials season looking more and more bleak, one thing fans can look forward to is Rick's return. Sure, some will still ask what "might've been", but others will revel in his untapped potential at the plate, and ask themselves what the future holds for Ankiel.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Celebrity Fit Club: Athlete Edition

If you have not been watching Celebrity Fit Club on VH-1, you are missing the best show on television. Forget 24, Lost or The Office. Celebrity Fit Club blows them all out of the water. If you are not familiar with the show, let me tell you how it works. VH-1 gets C and D-list "celebrities" who are far past their prime and have become fat, disgusting slobs to compete to see who can lose the most weight and win prizes and money.

Among the "celebrities" who have taken part in this ritual of humiliation include: rapper Biz Markie, actor Daniel Baldwin, former SNL star Victoria Jackson, Willie Aames from Charles In Charge, Tempestt Bledsoe of The Cosby Show, former Baywatch babe and Playboy model Erika Eleniak (in photo on right, in her glory days), Nick Turturro from NYPD Blue and Tina Yothers from Family Ties.

Last night was the season finale of the best season to date. As it turns out, Screech from Saved by the Bell (Dustin Diamond) is a total prick. Who knew? He antagonizes and makes fun of every cast member, mocking them and their careers - even bragging about his sex tape. The cast members, which include Maureen McCormick of The Brady Bunch and pop singer Tiffany, are furious with him throughout. Video tapes show him at home, stuffing his face with whipped cream and cookies and all sorts of junk. He even challenges their physical fitness instructor, a former Marine, to "physical combat", resulting in the instructor getting within an inch of homicide and referring to Screech as "a waste of sperm". You simply will not find a more enjoyable television experience.

All of this led me to think: What athletes would be perfect for this show? Which athletes would make Celebrity Fit Club as entertaining as it has been, willing to humiliate themselves for a small amount of money and our amusement? Here are a few ideas to get the ball rolling. Hopefully, VH-1 execs will read this, and immediately call these people's agents. If they still have agents.

Tonya Harding:

Everybody's favorite trailer trash skater would be absolutely perfect for this show. Perfect! The formerly skinny Olympian is now a lardaceous version of her former self. She has been arrested, had a sex tape put out and hilariously eaten herself into a heavyweight boxing sideshow. There is not a more perfect candidate for CFC than Harding.


Craig Stadler:

Not the only golfer who will be on this show, Stadler has famously been out of shape for a long, long time. His nickname is "The Walrus", and I do not think that whoever game him that name was thinking of The Beatles. Stadler has had some success in his career, winning tournaments like the Nissan Open and the Buick Invitational. He is on the Champions (Seniors) Tour now, and his career could probably use a boost. What better way than to make an appearance on CFC?


James "Buster" Douglas:

Douglas is somewhat of a sad story. After knocking out Mike Tyson in Tokyo in 1990, Douglas would have only one title defense, and lost to Evander Holyfield. He retired from boxing and ballooned to a garagantuan 400 pounds. Not only that, but he nearly perished from a diabetic coma because of his obesity. Buster could probably use some of the prize money given away on the show, as he was taken advantage of by people he trusted, and lost most of his cash.


Phil Mickelson:

Granted, the "Hefty Lefty" shed a few pounds in the offseason, and he has a smoking hot wife, but Mickelson would give us a lot of copy during the weekly weigh-ins. Not to mention he still has man-breasts and would benefit greatly from Frank Costanza's man-boob bra, aka "The Bro". Mickelson's whining would make the drill instructor's head spin. Can you just imagine Phil not being able to get through one of the fitness challenges and blasting the exercise for being dangerous, just like he blamed the course at the U.S. Open for being dangerous even though nobody else pulled up lame?


Gilbert Brown:

Brown is the definition of corpulence. Before games in Green Bay, Brown would order Double Whoppers, with double everything on them. These would later be sold as "Gilbertburgers" at area Burger Kings. A former third round pick, Brown would always push 400 pounds as a playing weight, occasionally "slimming down" to a svelte 390 or so. He was a colorful character who did a "Gravedigger" move after a big play. That's appropo, considering he was digging his own grave one Double Whopper at a time.


Shaquille O'Neal:

Somewhat ironically, and definitely amusingly, Shaq and ABC Television have partnered to create a reality show called Shaq's Big Challenge, which will aid fat kids in trying to lose weight. While I am not mocking the idea - there are far too many blimps masquerading as children nowadays - the fact that Shaq is somehow a model of fitness strikes me as odd. Maybe Dwayne Wade would have been a better choice, no? At one time, Shaq was a lean, explosive 300 pounds. But that time has come and gone. He struggles to get up and down the court, and his injuries have hampered his conditioning. Now, he is just a large man. But he would bring the show a sense of humor and one-liners that would be wholly entertaining. Maybe he could even box Tonya Harding. Either that, or he'd arrest her.

Friday, June 15, 2007

This Is Live? Cut! CUT!

This is what happens when you have a dirty, dirty mind.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Filipino Basketball - Have A Gay Old Time!


Since the NBA Finals have been so excruciatingly boring, fans around the globe are searching for an outlet to get their basketball fix. May we offer a suggestion for you? Take a vacation to the Philippines to watch the Filipino professional league. Apparently, it's huge there:


Basketball is really the only team sport in the Philippines. The only other contest that rivals it in popularity is cock-fighting.



So basketball is popular there. It's probably a lot like basketball in the States, right? Well, not exactly. Not only are there height restrictions (6'6") on the players, the basketball fans at these games are like something out of a Richard Simmons wet dream:


The fan base is fascinating. It seems that old women and flamboyantly gay men feature very prominently ... Especially at the PBA professional games. Really the most devoted fans are the Manangs, which are the old women, and the Baclas, which are the gays, the homosexual men, and they're really a whole part of basketball culture on their own here, where they're at every game. Sometimes during time outs they become the entire time-out entertainment when they're sort of dancing to the music; the fans supporting different teams will actually have a dance-off on different sides of the court while the rest of the crowd sort of hoots at them.



The phrase "It's Fan-Tastic" has never been more appropriate. Not only are the fans, um, unique, but you better be damned good if you want to stay in this league. Remember Cedric Ceballos, the former NBA All-Star who won the slam dunk contest by wearing a blind fold? What about Darvin Ham, the player notorious for a lethal, backboard shattering dunk? Well, they went bye-bye.


If a player comes in and fails to score 30 points, their team doesn't win, there's a good chance that they can be sent home in a week, or less than a week, and that has happened to former NBA players ... guys like Darvin Ham and Cedric Ceballos, Ceballos was an NBA All-Star. They came here, played a poor game and got sent home the next day.



Somebody, please get ESPN to send Pedro Gomez to the Philippines to cover this league. Or at least let Mike and Mike do a broadcast from one of the games.

And while Filipino basketball sounds like a gay old time, we think we're going take our vacation in Rome instead. That way, we can take a deep breath, relax, and soak in the atmosphere. An atmosphere that is literally contaminated with cocaine, marijuana and benzopirene in the air. If only Hunter S. Thompson were still alive. We're pretty sure he would have enjoyed a trip like this.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

An Interview With Darren Rovell


When we are kids, we think of sports as nothing more than games being played by larger than life figures. We idolize these men and women, and think they are playing for our city, for our team, because they want to win for the sake of the us - the fans. The process of growing up means many hard truths are learned, and one of those hard truths is that sports are a big business played by rich men on teams owned by even richer men. Billions of dollars worth of transactions take place in sports every year. That is where Darren Rovell comes in.

As the leading expert in the world of sports business, Rovell is a busy man. He runs his own blog on cnbc.com called Sports Biz, appears on CNBC television, is a guest on many national radio programs and has written two books, First in Thirst: How Gatorade Turned the Science of Sweat into a Cultural Phenomenon and On the Ball: What You Can Learn About Business From America's Sports Leaders. Darren was kind enough to take time out of his schedule to answer a few questions for us on his background, LeBron James' quest to become the first $1 billion athlete, Michelle Wie's plummeting marketability, the potential value of Barry Bonds' 756th homerun ball and a few other things.


Tell us a little about your background. Were you an athlete as a kid? Were sports a big part of your youth?

Darren Rovell: Sports was a big part of my childhood, though my highlights surely came watching and talking about sports than anything I did on the court (tennis and basketball) or on the field (baseball). I basically memorized the names, stats and faces of every baseball card that was released from 1986 to 1989. I polished up my skills in the summer of 1989 when I got the electronic baseball encyclopedia. I also worked on my impressions of batting stances, which was a good attention grabber at parties.

After graduating cum laude from Northwestern, you went to work for ESPN. How did you manage that gig?

DR: I knew I wanted to get into the sports broadcasting and writing business and I felt the best way to get there was to weave two passions -- sports and business. While I was at Northwestern, I created "The Sports Business Beat," a sports business radio show. We didn't tell anyone we were on a college station (WNUR) and we got many of the top executives in the business to come on my show. I developed a pretty nice rolodex from that. We did some really messed up stuff. I remember we did a whole show on energy bars. And we would review these energy bars live on the show (I think I ate like 10 of them in an hour) and then we'd bring on the founders of the companies from Powerbar (Brian Maxwell) to Clif Bar (Lisa Thomas) and asked them questions about how they came up with certain flavors, etc. I knew by filling an hour every week that this was something that I could easily do for a living. During the summer after my junior year, I pitched to Foxsports.com that they should have a business site. So I put together a business plan and Foxsportsbiz.com launched before I graduated. It eventually lost support and faded away.

Right before I graduated, I noticed that ESPN.com was coming to campus. They weren't interviewing for some big time writing jobs. But I figured I'd give my pitch to be their sports business reporter a shot -- even though they didn't have that type of opening. Luckily the person interviewing was a guy named David Albright, who saw that my vision made sense and he brought my resume (an eight page laminated media guide) and my idea back to Bristol. Longtime ESPN mainstays like John Walsh and John Marvel were then willing to give me the chance and the rest is history. I had six unbelievable years at ESPN.

Why make the move from ESPN over to CNBC?

DR: I had done some really fulfilling stuff on ESPNEWS, SportsCenter and Outside the Lines -- and I feel that I maintained some great relationships with so many people at the Worldwide Leader -- but I wanted to be on television every single day doing sports business. Around the time I was approached by CNBC, I wasn't getting on air as much as I would have liked to at ESPN and CNBC presented me with the opportunity to do TV all the time, while still offering an online component in a blog on the new CNBC.com. I really liked that challenge. It has been almost a year since the move and I'm very happy at CNBC. I still love to go on ESPN Radio with Mike & Mike, Colin Cowherd, Dan Patrick and Doug Gottlieb.

The NBA Draft is coming up soon, and Greg Oden and Kevin Durant are virtual locks to be the 1st and 2nd overall picks. Which one of these two is the more marketable player directly out of college? Will playing on the West Coast in Oregon and Washington hurt them financially?

DR: Durant has it locked up. His shoe deal is going to be worth five times what Oden's shoe deal will be and that's where most of the money is going to come from. Being on the west coast certainly hurts -- you're simply not seen as much. But if you are a great player markets matter less in this world than it did 20 years ago. We haven't really seen much personality from Greg Oden. I'm not sure if that's because he doesn't have a great personality or if it's more that we just haven't seen enough off the court stuff from him.

Speaking of drafts, Major League Baseball recently held theirs. Are any of these players looking at endorsement dollars? Or do they have to wait until they hit the big leagues? I faintly recall Gabe Kapler doing a commercial while he was still in the minors.

DR: Baseball is just not a good sport to be in if you want national commercials. There's only a handful of guys who make more than $1 million in endorsements. It begins with the fact that cleated shoes just don't sell in the way that basketball shoes do.

You recently wrote that Michelle Wie's marketability is crashing. Is she coming to the point where she must win to remain viable to the major companies? She recently pulled out of an event due to a wrist injury that was questioned by a number of people, including Annika Sorenstam. Is her credibility becoming an issue?

DR: I've pegged Michelle Wie unmarketable when she is 0-for-65 in the events she has played in. Right now she is 0-for-43. But I'll tell you this, if she has meltdowns like this with $15 million or so in annual endorsement deals on the line, she could fall faster than I expected.

Kobe Bryant's jersey is the number 1 seller among NBA players. It has been four years since he was accused of sexual assault. You reported he recently signed an extension with Nike, but have any other companies come back to him?

DR: Besides Sony for the cover of its video game -- which I don't consider to be "blue chip" -- no other company has done anything. I give Nike a lot of credit for sticking with him when Nutella, McDonald's and Spalding bowed out. The bottom line was the people at the swoosh knew that Kobe had great basketball in him and that would help sell shoes. Will Kobe ever get a deal with Apple? Starbucks? Mattel? That's going to be one of the most interesting stories to watch.

LeBron James has let it be known he wants to be the first athlete to be worth $1 billion. Is this realistic? Isn't Tiger Woods a more viable candidate to do this?

DR: I have Tiger Woods making $1 billion by the year 2011. LeBron James has no shot to do it that quickly, not unless his homeslice Warren Buffett gives him a boatload of cash.

Heritage Auction Galleries recently dropped their $1 million bid for Barry Bonds' 756th homerun, citing fan safety concerns. How much do you think this ball will end up going for?

DR: Bonds No. 756 goes for about $1.2 million. But what people have to remember is that the valuable Bonds ball, if you believe there is any, is not No. 756, it's his final ball, which we of course won't know when he hits it.

Finally, what advice would you give to somebody seeking to become the next Darren Rovell?

DR: Well, I'd hope there isn't a next Darren Rovell. Everyone has to be unique. So I'll give you general rules that I've lived by.

Find your niche. Study that niche. Become the expert in that niche.
Find your ultimate job. Study under the person who has that job. Replace that person.

Finally, realize that everyone wants to work in the sports world for free. Every day remember that. And every day work hard to differentiate yourself, to create value for yourself and make a name.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Spectacular One Year Wonders

We decided to take a look back into sports history and come up with some of the most spectacular one year wonders. These athletes came into our consciousness for a brief moment of glory, and left just as quickly.

- Brady Anderson: Anderson came out of nowhere in 1996, when at age 32, he hit 50 homeruns, besting his previous season high by 29. The next season he hit only 18 homeruns in two more games, and would never again hit more than 24. This was at the height of the "Steroid Era" and there is strong suspicion Anderson got his sudden power with more than just extra batting practice.

- The XFL: The brainchild of WWE owner Vince McMahon, the XFL was set up as competition for the NFL, and was quickly put on the air at NBC. The league was supposed to be an edgier, more visceral experience for fans. Instead, they were more well-known for their cheerleaders wearing whorish outfits, and players putting fake names on the back of their jerseys like "He Hate Me". After one season that resulted in Tommy Maddox being named the MVP, the league folded.

- Mark "The Bird" Fidrych: The Bird had one great season, going 19-9 with a 2.34 ERA for Detroit in 1976. He was loved for his off the wall antics, but never again put together one full season.

- The Seattle Pilots: After one year, the Pilots moved from Seattle to Milwaukee, after being bought by Bud Selig. The Pilots were a terrible team, and their stadium was inept, leading to poor attendance. The deal was not finalized until 6 days before the start of the regular season, and the Pilots immediately became the Brewers.

- Jamal Anderson, Atlanta Falcons: Anderson was an average runner until 1998, when he bust out for 1846 yards and 14 TD's. But over 400 carries took it's toll on Anderson, and he ended up injured the next year after only 19 carries. He would go on to play one more year before retiring in 2001.

- James "Buster" Douglas: Douglas shocked the entire sports world when he knocked out Mike Tyson in the 10th round in Tokyo to win the wold heavyweight championship. He quickly lost that title to Evander Holyfield and vanished from the boxing world.

- Paul Henderson, Team Canada: Henderson scored what is arguably the most memorable goal in professional hockey history, as he scored the game winner at the 1972 Summit Series for Canada over the USSR, to win the Series. This was when the world was in the middle of the Cold War, and nations were bitter enemies. An otherwise average player, Henderson shot to stardom. The entire team from the Summit Series is in the Canadian Sports Hall of Fame.

- Jerome Walton: Walton put together a great rookie year for the Chicago Cubs in 1989, hitting .293 and stealing 24 bases, to win rookie of the year. That season was highlighted by a 30 game hitting streak that thrust him into the national spotlight. His career dissipated after that, though he managed to put together one more good season with the Angels in 1995.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Meet The Meths!

One of the inherent joys of spending way too much time on fantasy baseball is seeing what kind of team names the other owners in our leagues come up with each year.

There is always a creative name we see that makes us say to ourselves, "Damn, I wish I thought of that." Apparently, we are not as innovative as the masses. Thankfully, there is no shortage of adroit individuals roaming the internet, ready to entertain us.

In search of great names, I scoured the world wide web to find the very best you had to offer. These names come from many sources. Some from leagues we are in, some from a clever thread on the Fantasy Baseball Cafe message board, and some we just happened to stumble across. If your team name is on here, please, take credit in the comments section, and let us know if you have any more.

Without further dawdling, here are some great fantasy baseball team names:

- Mr. Meth

- Sexson the Pujols

- Flatulent Amish Kids

- Rolen Blunts

- Wang Fan

- Bud's Wiser

- Huge Gyroballs

- Dustin Diamondbacks

- Chicks Dig My Longballs

- Dirt E. Sanchez

- Passed Out on Eithier

- Stinkpickles

- I Got the Runs

- Catastrophic Cooters

- T-Baggers

- Droppin' a Deuce

- Debbie Does Odalis

- Angry Potheads

- The Money Shot

- The Flaming Poo

- Brokebat Mountain

The Sopranos


All week, I cringed every time somebody would have a poll question or ask on the radio what they thought the ending of The Sopranos was going to be. Because I already knew. No, I did not get an advance copy of the finale. I do not have friends on the inside that told me what it was going to be. I knew because there was only one way for the show to go out. Shrouded in mystery.

Those of you seeking a violent denouement were left with mouth agape at the ambiguity of the final scene. But you should not have been. At it's core, The Sopranos was not about brutality. It was about family and relationships, loyalty and betrayal.

Violence was a by-product of Tony's occupation, just as using a spreadsheet is a by-product of your job. He only used violence when necessary, and never seemed to take any joy out of the deeds required of a man in his position. Tony at his most violent was a man conflicted. His job required him to kill his cousin and one of his best friends in Big Pussy. There was an inherent sadness to Tony when he used violence that was not there with other characters who seemed to revel in it, like Paulie Walnuts.

The finale was not without answers. In a classic scene, Phil Leotardo's head was crushed by an SUV just after taking a bullet to the brain from one of Tony's men. Tony was also hit with the news that he is likely facing a trial after Carlo flipped. The final scene at the diner was filled with intrigue. Why was that guy in the gray coat staring at Tony? Was he waiting for Meadow to arrive so he could wipe out the whole family? Was he an FBI agent? Or was he just some odd indvidual? It was left up to you to decide.

Those scenes are not what you will remember about this episode, however. What you will remember is the inconclusiveness of the final scene. But when you think about it, the show wrapped up telling us about where these characters have come.

Tony's sister, Janis, was left thinking about herself, as was her forte, in the wake of husband Bobby's murder. Uncle Junior was still being taken care of in a hospital after dementia robbed him of the man he once was, a shell of his former self. Paulie Walnuts was the character who changed the least, aging but still enjoying himself, cracking wise at funerals and tanning outside Satriale's.

Carmela was last seen looking at plans for her spec house, furthering her independence, finding something to call her own. After tricking himself into the notion he actually believed in something, A.J. was easily dissuaded into joining the Army by his parents. His final scene - in which he was seen in a BMW his parents bought him and speeding irresponsibly after getting off work in a job Tony got for him - captured A.J. perfectly. Without his family helping him, he was nothing.

Meadow's final scene was watching her trying to parallel park, which was a perfect metaphor for how her life was portrayed throughout the show. She was constantly in flux, hedging on decision after decision. Her indecisiveness started in season one, on her trip with Tony trying to decide where she would attend college, and lasted until the end of the show and her waffling between law school and medical school.

The Sopranos, at it's core, was a show that centered on the family dynamic. Nothing was more evident in the finale than that. The ending was a confirmation about the Soprano family, and Tony in particular. It let us know that there will never be any peace with Tony, he will always have to watch his back. It also let us know that the one thing that Tony covets, the one thing he was always trying to save, was his family.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Chicago Cubs "Player Development"


The Chicago Cubs have passionate fans, a historic stadium and a tradition of being lovable losers. Their past failures are often blamed on billy goats and Bartman, black cats and bad luck. Those are all fun things to talk about. More fun than, say, total incompetence by the front office.

With the All-Star Game coming up on July 10, a closer look at the voting ballots will prove just how effective Cubs player development is. Within this notebook, Gerry Fraley of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch has done some research and came up with this gem:



There are 240 position players on the All-Star ballot. Only one began his career with the Chicago Cubs. Can you name that player?

Time's up. The lone product of the Cubs player-development system to appear on the All-Star ballot is outfielder Corey Patterson, now with Baltimore. By comparison, there are 15 Toronto products and 14 Atlanta products on the ballot. The Cardinals had eight.


One player on the ballot came up through their system. Of course, this does not count pitchers, and we would be remiss not to mention they developed one of the greatest pitchers of all time in Greg Maddux, and Rich Hill looks like he could be very good.

Still, the fact that the only position player on the ballot is Patterson, a mediocre player hitting .210 this year, is far more telling of their plight than any curse.

Friday, June 8, 2007

The Worst Starting Rotations in Baseball

There are often arguments about which team in Major League Baseball has the best starting rotation. You could make a case for a number of teams, including Oakland, San Diego and the L.A. Angels. But what about the worst starting rotation? What teams have the dubious distinction of representing the worst their league has to offer?

The American League is simple. In fact, it is not even close. The Texas Rangers starting pitching has an ERA of 6.97. If that keeps up, they will easily wear the crown of worst starting staff in the history of baseball. Which is a damn long history. The 1996 Detroit Tigers have the record for worst starters ERA at 6.64, making the difference between the two teams exactly .33 runs per game.

Of their current starting rotation, Robinson Tejada has the "best" starters ERA at a woeful 6.28. Mike Wood has started four games, and he has a 5.40 ERA, but he has not started in the month of June. Kevin Millwood, who makes $9.8 million this year, has been brutal. He sports a 7.57 ERA, a 1.91 WHIP, a .337 opponents batting average and an ERA+ of 60.

The Rangers starters have plenty of other numbers to support their horridness. They are dead last in baseball in a number of categories: earned runs allowed, K/BB ratio, WHIP, opponents on-base percentage, opponents slugging percentage, opponents OPS and opponents batting average. In many of these cases, the numbers are not even close. They have allowed a .385 OBP against, and the next closest is Seattle at .355.

The National League does not have anything quite as wretched as the Texas Rangers rotation, but they feature some bad staffs also. The NL basically comes down to two candidates for awfulness: the St. Louis Cardinals and the Washington Nationals, with a dishonorable mention to Cincinnati and Philadelphia.

The Cardinals have been futilely trying to acquire starters, because what they have just is not working. The Cards sport an NL worst 5.23 ERA, and four of their five starters were in the bullpen a year ago, or even earlier this year, including Kansas City reject Todd Wellemeyer. The other starter, Kip Wells, is challenging the aforementioned Kevin Millwood as worst starter in baseball. He leads the league with 10 losses and is on pace to accumulate over 20. The only good news for the team is aces Chris Carpenter and Mark Mulder are set to return sometime in late August or early June.

Washington has a starters ERA of 5.07, and have used 9 different starting pitchers already, with their most effective being Jason Bergmann, who sports a 2.76 ERA and 1.00 WHIP. Their worst has been supposed staff ace John Patterson, whose ERA is the same as a type of airplane, 7.47, to go with his WHIP of 1.95 and horrendous ERA+ of 54.

Washington starters have a decided edge over St. Louis' in opponents batting average (.260 to .282), and a lesser edge in opponents OBP (.338 to .345), opponents slugging percentage (.431 to .457) and WHIP (1.45 to 1.48).

Reviewing all the facts make it pretty clear that the worst starting rotation in the National League belongs to the St. Louis Cardinals, who have to be thankful that their bullpen has been much better than their starters, as it ranks third in the NL in ERA at 3.41, and that the return of their two best pitchers is just a matter of time. The Texas Rangers on the other hand? Well, they just might make history in 2007 - the worst assembly of starters in over 130 years of baseball.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Their Own Personal Cell

Commissioners Roger Goodell, Bud Selig and David Stern, of the NFL, MLB and NBA respectively, have each tried to quell misbehavior by their leagues players in recent times.

The measures taken by the commissioners have brought attention to the misdeeds done by athletes presently and in the past. With this, we will take a look at some of the most egregious crimes athletes were convicted or accused of. There have been transgressions ranging from the completely bizarre to the downright terrifying.

Sam Crane: Crane wasn't much of a big league ballplayer, but he left his mark. Crane was convicted in 1930 of killing his ex-girlfriend and her lover in a hotel bar. Later, Connie Mack, who Crane played for, would help him get paroled.

Najeh Davenport: Davenport was arrested for defecating in a laundry basket in 2002. A woman at Barry University in Miami says she awoke to find a man had broken into her hotel room and crapped in her laundry basket. Davenport took a plea bargain, but claimed innocence, saying, "Where's the evidence? Where's the manure?"

Wolfgang Schwarz: Schwarz won an Olympic gold medal in figure skating in 1968. That's where the highlights stop. He was first convicted of human trafficking charges in 2002, as he brought girls from Lithuania to Austria to work as prostitutes and sentenced to a year and a half in jail. In 2006, he was convicted of plotting to kidnap a teenage girl of a Romanian businessman and hold her for ransom. You have to respect his logic, though: "Anyone could use two to three million euros."

Mike Danton: Danton was a Blues player who was convicted of trying to hire a hitman to kill his agent. That agent, David Frost, is a strange character who has been accused of controlling Danton's life from the time Danton was a child. Evidence of this is in a documentary on the pair, in which a taped telephone call Danton made to Frost a week after his arrest was broadcast. Frost demands Danton say, "I love you" to him, and Danton submits. Frost has been accused of sexual crimes against minors and has been forced out of hockey altogether. Meanwhile, Danton is serving seven and a half years in prison.

Sonny Liston: After moving to St. Louis in the 1940's, Liston was constantly in trouble, and served a term for armed robbery. He learned boxing in prison, but after he was paroled he found more trouble. Cops in the city would harass Liston, and as this story says, they did it one time too many: "When a cop confronted him and a friend about a cab parked near Liston's home, he assaulted the officer, breaking his knee and gashing his face, and took his gun. Liston received nine months in the city workhouse."

Robert Rozier: Rozier, a former Arizona Cardinal, was sentenced to twenty-five years to life in 2001 for writing bad checks under the three strike rule. Turns out his first two strikes were a lot worse than writing some hot checks. Previously, Rozier plead guilty of murdering four people and had confessed to killing three others, but got off after serving only ten years for testifying against cult leader Yahweh Ben Yahweh, whom Rozier claimed brainwashed him into committing the murders.

Kevin Stevens: When the New York Rangers finished their game in St. Louis, Stevens decided he needed to unwind. So he did. With some crack, a whore and a member of the Vice Lords street gang, who was her pimp. Stevens and the prostitute went to a motel to smoke crack, and the police showed up, responding to a disturbance call. Stevens was charged with felony drug possession and misdemeanor charges of soliciting a prostitute and possessing drug paraphernalia. His wife was pregnant with a child at the time.

Ernie Holmes: Former Steeler was arrested for firing his pistol at police helicopters while it was hovering in the sky.

Mossy Cade: In 1985, he was arrested and charged with sexual assault. He was convicted of the crime against the woman. Who was this lady? His aunt.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

The Return of Mighty Quin


Much to the chagrin of The Smittblog and fans of the Missouri Tigers, Quin Snyder is back in basketball. In the NBA Development League.

According to Andy Katz, Snyder will take over for the recently deceased Dennis Johnson as coach of the Austin Toros. Snyder has been away from the game, but he told Katz, "I came to the conclusion after looking at business stuff that I wanted to coach. That's my passion." If it was such a passion, why did he break so many rules? If it was such a passion, wouldn't he have been looking for a coaching gig all along instead of "business stuff"?

Then again, universities probably weren't lining up outside his door to hire him. He wasn't exactly hot property after being forced out of the University of Missouri, having been named in 17 different allegations in 5 years, including paying players.

Then again, former Indiana Pacers GM and current Toros owner David Kahn seems to know something we don't:

"Quin has a tremendous upside and I see him one day, if he chooses this route, to be a head coach in the NBA,"

Well, the NBA does allow their players to be paid, so Quin's one step ahead of the game already.

The Most Overvalued Statistics in Football?


Baseball is the pre-eminent sport involving statistics. There are never ending ways to calculate a players performance. New statistics are being devised all the time, and the sport was changed forever with the introduction of sabermetrics by Bill James.

No longer was batting average the number one indicator of a players success. Instead, it was logically reasoned that to score runs, players have to get on base, thus on-base percentage became a more useful tool in deciphering how well a player is performing.

It also put to rest the notion that stats like wins and RBI are indicative of a single players productivity. Without their teammates scoring runs, pitchers cannot be credited with wins. Unless there are runners in scoring position, the only way to get an RBI is to hit a solo homerun.

With this in mind, I read with interest The Smittblog's piece on the worthlessness of QB rating. It occurred to me that there is no legitimate way to separate how good a football player is using sabermetrics. If wins and RBI are considered inadequate measuring sticks of performance, how can you really rate the talent of a single football player?

Some football websites, such as Football Outsiders have attempted to use sabermetrics for evaluating players, and they have done an admirable job. They have devised a statistic they use called DVOA, or Defense-Adjusted Value Over Average. But even they admit, the process is an inexact science:

DVOA is still far away from the point where we can use it to represent the value of a player separate from the performance of his ten teammates that are also involved in each play. That means that when we say, "Larry Johnson has a DVOA of 27.6%," what we are really saying is "Larry Johnson, playing in the Kansas City offensive system with the Kansas City offensive line blocking for him and Trent Green selling the fake when necessary, has a DVOA of 27.6%."
So which statistics are meaningful, and which are not? If Peyton Manning was put on the Raiders, what would his numbers look like? These questions have no right or wrong answers, but they are debatable.

Defense seems a bit simpler to judge than offense. Schemes matter on defense just as they do on the other side of the ball. An outside linebacker in a 3-4 scheme is going to have more sacks than an outside linebacker playing a 4-3 cover 2. That's the nature of the position. Other than that, it's relatively simple.

The defensive ends are there to rush the QB. Defensive tackles need to clog up space to allow linebackers to get to the ball. Linebackers have to mix it up - make plays on the ball while covering receivers and rushing the passer. Corners and safeties have to cover their men and get turnovers. Not much to define. Statistically, we know the player with the most sacks is generally the best DE, and the one who intercepts the most passes is an upper echelon cornerback.

Offense is decidedly more intricate. Wide receivers depend on quarterbacks who depend on offensive linemen. Without a good line, offenses are going to struggle. Period. Look at Edgerrin James. He went from a terrific offensive line with Indianapolis in 2005 to an atrocious one with Arizona. Even factoring in a small decline for age (28), James took a precipitous fall in production. He went from averaging 4.2 yards a carry to 3.4, 13 touchdowns to 6, 94 first downs to 59. And his longest run was a paltry 18 yards. So it's evident that running backs need the most help. They can get by on athletic ability to an extent, but without the maulers up front, they have little chance of statistical success. So yards per carry, touchdowns, yards gained and first downs are not true measuring sticks of a single runner.

Wide receivers are in a similar boat. Numbers may not define if a player is special. WR's obviously depend on having a decent QB to get them the ball, but catches are not a good indicator of a great wideout. Some offenses are pass-happy, some run more. Is Mike Furrey better than Marvin Harrison and Torry Holt because he caught more balls? Didn't think so. WR's need the ability to get open, but schemes are important in this, and superior coaches can find ways to get guys open. So catches, yards and touchdowns are a sign an offense is special more than a single receiver. Ask Art Monk, who is yet to be elected to the Hall of Fame even though he had the most catches in NFL history at the time of his retirement.

Quarterbacks are the cogs in the wheels of offense. Here, there may be the only statistics in football that defines how good one player is. It's not yards or touchdowns or number of attempts or number of completions. Two stats are vital in deciding the best QB: completion percentage and TD/INT ratio. While QB's do depend on WR's to catch what they throw, and that can make completion percentage go up or down a few points, it won't be enough to separate the great QB's from the subpar ones.

The starting QB's with a completion percentage greater than 60% who had more TD's than INT's reads like this: Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Tony Romo, Marc Bulger, Drew Brees, Chad Pennington, Steve McNair, J.P. Losman, Carson Palmer, Philip Rivers and Jake Delhohmme. All except Losman have led their teams to the playoffs at one point in their careers and four have led their teams to the Super Bowl.

Statistics in football is a tricky thing. Sabermetrics is a limited endeavor because of the dependance on teammates for success, and the myriad of positions depending on one another.

Links To Peruse

Some stuff from around the internets:

- Milwaukee fans have understandably gotten excited about the Brew Crew this year (though I think the Cardinals may have something to say about that before the season is over), but for the love of all things holy, they really should hold off on making awful raps about the team. (Bugs and Cranks)

- The Extrapolater thinks Mark Cuban should invest some money into scouting Turkish football. Somehow, I don't think LaDainian Tomlinson and Steven Jackson are afraid of these guys taking their jobs. (The Extrapolater)

- Lots of players are disappointing their teams in MLB this year (*cough* Adam Kennedy *cough*). Not surprisingly, the Drew family is well represented on this list. (Beyond the Boxscore)

- I'm shocked (shocked!) to learn that Pac-Man Jones is acting like a moron. Again. (MediaTakeOut)

- This young couple might have been doing a little more than watching the game. (Phil Elkins)

- Hopefully, Shawn Andrews, Eagles Pro Bowl offensive lineman, won't have to change his jersey number for some reason. Otherwise, this tattoo is going to look awful dumb. Not that it looks that great anyhow. (The 700 Level)

- Mr. Irrelevant gives us his opinion on the top 10 sports blogs. Apparently he has forgotten to include me. That's okay. (Mister Irrelevant)

Oh, Snap! Babe Ruth Said What About Bonds?

Babe Ruth has something to say about Barry Bonds and this whole steroids business. Ruth never was one to hold back, and he fires away, back from the grave.

Monday, June 4, 2007

Fellowship of the Leagues

Roger Goodell has clearly been eager to mark his territory in the NFL, instituting a player conduct policy that severely punishes anybody who steps out of line. This policy was enacted because the NFL wanted to clean up its image in the wake of Cincinnati prisons becoming housing for the Bengals, and players like Pacman Jones and Tank Johnson having their own problems.

Goodell's sudden presence made me think: what would the other traditional professional leagues be like if the commissioners traded places? That is, what if the NFL, NBA, NHL and MLB had to switch commissioners? How would things be different today if Bud Selig ran the NFL, Roger Goodell ran the NHL, Gary Bettman ran the NBA and David Stern ran MLB?

- Bud Selig, NFL Commissioner:

Due to Selig ignoring the steroid and human growth hormone crisis, players have grown to enormous sizes, and violent hits on kickoff and punt returns have tragically led to their heads flying clean off their bodies upon contact. Revulsed by seeing too many decapitations, fans and politicians will demand Selig enact a tougher drug policy, though he will claim all this drug use is news to him. Facing heat, Selig goes on a public relations campaign, vowing to help O.J. Simpson in his search for the real killers.

- Roger Goodell, NHL Commissioner:

Newly appointed commissioner Goodell (who, on a completely unrelated note is married to Fox News anchor and babe Jane Skinner, much to my surprise), eager to make his bones with the fledgling league, outlaws fighting, imposing a 50 game suspension on anyone who tussles on the open ice. He also makes an attempt to clean up the league's image by outlawing the mullet hairstyle, and making false teeth mandatory for those who get them knocked out. Canadiens everywhere are upset about this perceived slight to their national hairstyle.

- Gary Bettman, NBA Commmissioner:

Bettman struggles to gain an audience as financial losses mount up. He makes a critical decision, moving NBA games from ESPN and ABC to the Lifetime Women's Network. Women tuning in expecting to see episodes of the Golden Girls and Reba, are instead horrified at the sight of Lifetime's newest program, an inside look at Ron Artest's music label, Tru Warier. The league falls deeper into despair.

- David Stern, MLB Commissioner:

Wanting a more professional image, Stern decides to make coaches and managers wear suits, harkening back to the old days, when John McGraw and others realized they looked ridiculous in a uniform. To discourage charging the mound, anyone leaving the bench or bullpen during an altercation is automatically suspended, leading to 1 on 9 fights. Stern gets this idea when Alex Rodriguez charges the mound after being hit with a pitch, and none of the Yankees go out to help him. The rule is put into place the next day.

Overrate This, Stark!


Recently, ESPN baseball writer Jayson Stark caused quite a stir with his new book, which lists his opinions on the most overrated and underrated baseball players of all time.

His opinions have created a debate among baseball fans, sports writers and talk show hosts alike. Mike Greenberg, of spelling bee fame, nearly had an aneurism when told the immortal Graig Nettles was on the overrated list. Our outrage was saved for the inclusion of Lou Brock as the most overrated left fielder of all time.

Stark's money grab, er, book is a perfect segue to another list of overrated and underrated individuals: sports writers. There are many out there, especially now that the blogosphere has blown up to the point where people like you and I can sit in our parents basement and write whatever the hell we want (Just ask Allison Stokke's dad).

This brings us to the list, which for the time being will be kept to national writers only. One day we'll touch on the good (Joe Posnanski) and bad (Jay Mariotti) writers for local newspapers. On to the nominees.

Overrated:

- Dr. Z, SI.com: Does anybody know what the hell this old man is talking about? Anyone? His rambling mailbags are gettting more and more confusing to read. There is no doubt the man knows his football, but he goes off the beaten trail often. Maybe he's drinking too much of the wine he talks about in every single column. In the meantime, he should probably avoid interviewing canines. Talking about Michael Vick, Dr. Z came up with this gem: "I interviewed one of the dogs. I asked him, 'What's it really like?' He said, 'Ruff!'"

- Peter King, SI.com: Pete, we get it. You love coffee and hate travel. Point taken. And should you really be predicting the final score of the Super Bowl on June 4?

- Ken Rosenthal, FoxSports.com: I just cannot read one of his columns without hearing that whiny, nasally voice inside my head. And his columns? Ground-breaking is not his forte. It's like he has so many contacts in the game, he doesn't want to piss any one off, so he writes the most obvious articles he can, like "Russell Martin is special". Thanks, Ken. We were unaware of that.

- Andy Katz, ESPN.com: In a column about Billy Donovan, he writes this sentence - "Donovan agonized with the decision. But once he made it Thursday, he never looked back." Whoops.

- Pete Prisco, SportsLine.com: Besides blatantly stealing my overrated/underrated idea, Prisco gets his readers angry with his style. Take this post, by a fellow who calls himself Titans4Life, from the comments section below Prisco's article - "The rationale/explanations he offers in his writing is elementary, at best (and I have two young children, so I see the kind of writing Prisco does daily)."

- Special Mention - Jenn Sterger, SI.com: I'm probably going to get roasted for this, but since when has somebody gotten a writing job for how they look? I understand that good looking women are part of sports, whether it's cheerleaders or something else, but writing? I don't care what Sterger has to say. Neither do you, I suspect. The only reason anybody clicks on her article at SI is to see if she has announced she'll be in Playboy or Hustler.

Underrated:

- Peter Gammons, ESPN.com: I know he's in the Hall of Fame, and it is hard to be underrated if your greatness has already been confirmed, but you have to realize he is the man holding the ESPN baseball division together. Without him, you have a bunch of bumbling screamers who offer little insight or substance. An appearance by Gammons on Baseball Tonight is the only thing that makes the show watchable anymore.

- Seth Wickersham, ESPN.com: Besides Gammons, he is the best writer at ESPN. He doesn't crunch statistics so much as he writes about the people behind those numbers. He also writes a blog, and does interviews with bloggers, proving he's not as stuffy as, say, Stuart Scott.

- Gregg Doyel, SportsLine.com: He doesn't tip-toe around his opinions, and he has the knowledge to back them up. Consider the opening line of his most recent column - "Cleveland finished off Detroit on Saturday night for the Eastern Conference title, which is just friggin' great. The NBA Finals were already going to be devoid of suspense. Now they're going to be devoid of a Game 6, and possibly even a Game 5." How do you really feel, Gregg?

- Len Pasquarelli, ESPN.com: It feels like I'm beating the ESPN drum, and I know that's dangerous in the world of blogs, but maybe I'm just thrilled the Worldwide Leader is still smart enough not to throw everybody on TV and let them scream at each other. Pasquarelli rarely does television, and if he does, it's only to report news, not to yell at somebody. Pasquarelli's "Tip Sheet" article every Friday is a must read for football fans.

- Jon Heyman, SI.com: SI's baseball writer is an intelligent scribe who offers frank opinions and analysis of the game. He regularly makes contact with his readers through email, and doesn't schlub for the Yankees and Red Sox, like so many others do.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Caitlin Lowe Fanclub, Party of One


The Women's College World Series has been interesting on a number of fronts (just hear me out). For starters, the NCAA has somebody doing a blog about it, which is surprisingly in touch for the most crooked and out of date organization in sports, if not the country.

The real interest is on the field, where Arizona Wildcats centerfielder Caitlin Lowe is making quite a name for herself on the internet. Many of you are familiar with her face to face meeting with the wall, but she is developing fans for other reasons as well. One particularly creepy write-up about her caught my attention:

I was surfing the channels this weekend and came across some real entertainment. The Women's College World Series was on ESPN and I stopped to take a look. I could tell you it was to admire young athletes in their prime. But truthfully it was because most of them are fit beyond belief and wearing tight white pants ... It happened, when I found them, Arizona was playing. This is a team of mostly blonde, tan women who look great in softball uniforms ... These blonde babes can play the game. After watching them closely, very closely, I realized they are the most fundamentally sound players I have ever seen ... One player in particular caught my attention. It was the centerfielder for the Arizona Wildcats. Her name is Caitlin Lowe. She looks like a Barbie doll and plays like Ty Cobb. She has long blonde hair, green eyes and a great smile.


The most bizarre line is the one about watching them "closely, very closely". Something about it is a bit off. I can just visualize this guy typing in his basement, saying to himself, "It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again."

Caitlin, I don't know if the University of Arizona has some sort of security team, but if they do, I might go ahead and give them a ring, just for safety's sake.