Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The Best Worst Team Money Can Buy

There have more than a few offensive players in the NFL who have underperformed thus far, much to the chagrin of fans and fantasy football players.

Three weeks into the season, as the first bye week is among us, it seems like an appropriate time to delve into the realm of repugnant play, and devise a team of the underachieving.

QB - Drew Brees, New Orleans Saints: To fully comprehend his awfulness, there is but one stat you need to know. Of the 34 QB's who have started at least two games this year, only two have a worse QB rating than Brees - Rex Grossman and Tavaris Jackson. Brees' stands at 57.1, while Sexy Rexy's is 45.2 and the injured Jackson's is 40.0.

Brees' 1 touchdown throw means his TD% (percentage of passes thrown for a TD) is .8%. Only the injured J.P. Losman is worse, with a 0.0 TD%. Even Joey Harrington has a 2.1 TD%. Being compared with Grossman, Jackson, Losman and Harrington is not company Mr. Brees should be keeping.

RB - Maurice Jones-Drew, Jacksonville Jaguars: Anyone remember how good this midget was last year? Me too. This season he has only 100 yards on 33 carries, for a whopping 3.0 yards per carry (YPC), and has more fumbles (1) than TD's (0). Among the runners with more yards than him: Najeh Davenport and Sammy Morris.

RB - Reggie Bush, New Orleans Saints: Bush's yards per carry: 2.8. His yards per reception: 4.4. Total yards: 150. Losing Deuce McAllister: Priceless Painful.

RB - Larry Johnson, K.C. Chiefs: I'm a bit reluctant to put the Roc-A-Fella rapper in this category, as there have been some mitigating circumstances. Those circumstances are pretty simple: his head coach, his offensive line, his quarterbacks. Bad, worse, worser. Still, his longest run is 10 yards, and his yards per carry is 2.8, same as Reggie Bush.

WR - Lee Evans, Buffalo Bills: Even before Losman went down, he was flat-out abhorrent. After an 82 catch, 1,292 yard, 8 TD season in 2006, Evans' stat line for the first 3 games of 2007 reads as such: 5 catches, 29 yards, long of 9, 0 TD's. Projected total at this pace: 27 catches, 155 yards.

WR - Jacksonville's First-Round Picks: The two wideouts who were picked in the first round by Jacksonville, Matt Jones and Reggie Williams have combined for 7 catches and 88 yards. Not in last week's game. For the entire season.

WR - Ashley Lelie, San Francisco 49ers: Apparently, has played in all 3 of the 49ers games this year. The former first-round pick just hasn't caught a pass yet. Nothing. Then again, he does have immortals Aranz Battle, Taylor Jacobs and Darrell Jackson in front of him, so it must be difficult for him to even see the field.

3 Comments:

wrongheaded said...

Where's SJax on this list or Philip Rivers? I saw some that might help a fellow brotha out.

Anonymous said...

Nice list...
Now how about defensive slackers.
I'd like to nominate Jevon Kearse who, so far through 3 games, has racked up a might 1 tackle and half a sack.
Nick
Smarter Sports Blog
https://blogs.smarter.com/sports

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